


These Hips Don't Lie

by doppeldonger



Series: Ships from the Borderlands [12]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games), Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom, borderlands 2 - Fandom, borderlands: the pre-sequel
Genre: Athena as the mother hen, F/F, F/M, Fiona has a huge gay crush on Athena, Fiona is the fresh Vault Hunter of Pandora, Gen, Lonesome Claptrap, Loving nicknames, Magical girl transformation, Other, Poor Lilith needs to chill, Rhys is an asshole when he needs to be, Tiny robots in love!! How cute is that?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 01:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11521674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doppeldonger/pseuds/doppeldonger
Summary: A lonely Claptrap makes a new friend whom he falls in love with eventually.





	These Hips Don't Lie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Valoscope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valoscope/gifts), [LilBittyMonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilBittyMonster/gifts).



> The title is an allusion to Gortys's beautiful thighs.

Sanctuary wakes up to another long Pandoran day with a mad rush, the Crimson Lance soldiers and the renowned Vault Hunters running from this place to that in a hurry, hands and minds equally occupied. Lilith looks especially pissed today because she’s more nervous than usual, so she hides her uneasiness behind the mask of anger and aggression; everyone pointedly avoids her unless they need her orders, but Mordecai and Brick remain at her either side like the loyal friends they are. She appreciates it, she really does.

“What’s up with the commotion?” a high pitched, tinny voice asks from near her crotch, making her look down.

“None of your business, Claptrap.” she snaps, ready to take her anger out on the oblivious robot. “Just… shoo! Go away!” She even has the gall to make dismissing moves with her hands. Claptrap seems ready to pester her with more questions, but a low growl from the woman and worried glances from the two men behind her make the robot realize it’s a lost cause. He wheels away, wishing he had a face to show how disappointed he is. He passes by Maya and Salvador who give him a wave he fails to notice (“That’s weird.” Maya says worriedly) and glides towards an unoccupied corner of the city with a whir of his wheel.

Everyone likes teasing him so, and he knows with his programming to be the pestering, funny little robot around, there’s nothing he can do about it; but he still hates how he’s so underestimated and mocked. Did he not help his fellow Vault Hunters save the moon six years ago? Did he not open a Vault and fight a Vault Monster just like the others? He watches the fluffy white clouds pass by, trying to see shapes in them like the humans around him do; his database simply informs him that what he’s currently looking at is an altocumulus, so he goes back to his original train of thought dejectedly. Did he not suffer at Jack’s hands? Watch him commit genocide on the whole line of Claptraps? He lets out a quiet groan at the back of his voice processor. Out of all people, he’d think Lilith would understand what loss of loved ones feel like.

“At least she could’ve told me what this is about!” he complains to the patch of clouds.

“We’re getting some visitors and she’s taking her stress out on you because she’s an asshole like that,” a dull voice calls from above him, he turns to see Athena perched atop a low building, watching him like an angry hawk. The robot’s inner mechanism informs him that judging by her heart rate and body temperature, she’s not mad; she’s rather impassive and she simply suffers from what ECHOnet helpfully supplies as the condition of Resting Bitch Face.

“But why?” he asks, wheeling close and raising his slim arms up. Athena glares at him thoughtfully for a moment before answering: “Humans are like that, I guess.”

“Well that’s really rude.” He hates how cheery he sounds despite feeling like shit. Athena nods, “I know.” Moments pass in silence as Athena raises her head to regard the sky with calm azure eyes; Claptrap wonders if **she** enjoys trying to find shapes in clouds, he wonders if she’d laugh at him if he asked. He decides to take the risk and voices his question, to which Athena ends up looking at him rather oddly as if she’s surprised he’d be curious about such a thing in the first place. “I don’t… do that.” she informs him slowly, “Never really had the chance to spend my time with such trivial things.”

“I thought humans enjoyed that!” he says, managing to add a drop of surprise into his tone of voice, “If humans enjoy cloud-watching, it must be something they need or like!”

“We don’t need it like we need food…” Athena tries to explain, picking at the piece of armor around her forearm, “For some people it’s a hobby, for others it’s a way to pass the time.” Claptrap imitates the sound of taking in a breath as if he’s getting ready to speak, but the gladiator continues, “No, I don’t enjoy cloud-watching, never found it interesting.” Claptrap raises a hand. “Yes, I have hobbies,” Athena continues, feeling like an antisocial hermit. Claptrap’s body language tells her he doesn’t believe her one bit, but surprisingly enough, he makes no comment on it. Athena realizes how easy it has become for her to read his emotions like that despite he has absolutely no means of conveying them physically.

“Okay… Do you know what the others are up to, then?” The raised plate over his bright blue eye indicates curiosity, maybe a little bit of excitement; Athena smiles at that despite herself.

“There are a bunch of people arriving from Pandora in an hour or so.”

“Ooooooh, who are they? Do I know them? Are they fun? Do they know how to dance? Are they- okay okay! I’ll stop so you can answer!” She didn’t even have to motion for him to stop, Athena thinks. He has a progressive AI after all, Athena knows, he’ll learn.

“Remember back when I went to Hollow Point with Janey? That’s a long story, but the short version is that I met some people definitely not fit for Pandoran life, and…” She gazes around absentmindedly, thinking about Fiona, Rhys, the Jack AI, Gortys and the Vault of the Traveler, “And I watched them grow.”

“Sounds interesting!” Claptrap pipes up, “Are they the people coming over today?” _Not as dumb as he pretends to be, little metal asshole._ She nods, “One is a con artist-turned-Vault Hunter, and the other is an ex-Hyperion who’s the current CEO of Atlas, so it’s no wonder why Lilith’s acting like she’s got a stick up her ass- even more so than usual.” Claptrap joins his hands I front of him and leans over just a little, Athena knows he’s trying to take in all this information she’s just given him; so she waits patiently.

Eventually, Claptrap perks up again, “Are they nice people? I mean, they can’t be bad if you’re backing them up, but why is Lilith so angry, then?”

“None of us are really nice people, Claptrap,” Athena supplies, “You know that.”

“I…” he imitates a sigh, “I guess? But as rude as some of yo- **most** of you are, you don’t mean harm.” Athena raises her brows in surprise. “So… are they like that, too?”

* * *

“Oh my god! Why is it so cold up here? And humid? Also, I can see the oxygen levels are low and I don’t like that one bit!”

“Just… shut up, Rhys!”

The arrival of the said guests adds to the tension, the citizens of Sanctuary watch the man in a fancy gray suit and woman in worn leather clothes bicker next to the Fast Travel Station that’s humming gently as an after effect of a successful teleport. Claptrap watches them from afar, behind the safety of Athena’s well-muscled legs; he’s not scared, no! He’s simply… careful. Anything that has the name Hyperion on it makes his gears turn funny (not in a good way) and despite the fact that technically he himself is Hyperion, he can’t help but feel worried.

The man named Rhys downright pouts at his companion, but as far as Claptrap can read his body language and vitals alike, it’s friendly banter- even when the pretty woman with the hat cuffs Rhys in the back of his head. “Oh my god, Fiona, stop embarrassing me in front of these people! I have an image to uphold!”

The woman (Fiona, Claptrap reminds himself) laughs, her voice deep and rich; the tension in the air eases just a bit. “What image are you even talking about?” Before Rhys can respond, her amused eyes catch the sight of Athena glaring at her like an annoyed mother and she blushes a deep crimson. “Hi Athena!” she waves at her tentatively, her vitals tell Claptrap that she’s excited; Claptrap wonders why Fiona acts like that with the gladiator as Athena gives the younger woman a curt nod  and starts walking towards the duo. Claptrap realizes a little too late that he’s left out in the open, and it’s not long before Rhys’s eyes fall upon him. He realizes just how tall the man is, his furrowed brows making Claptrap wish he still had **_vaulthunter.exe_** in his system, just in case. Rhys’s eyes widen, his mouth stuck in a silent “Oh.” before he strides closer with his long legs. “A CL4P-TP?” he asks dreamily before noticing the way the robot wheels back ever-so-slightly; surprise graces his features briefly before he lets out an appreciative “Huh.” as if he understands. Rhys stops, his jacket fluttering in the breeze as he slowly kneels down to get on eye level with the robot. He smiles and Claptrap’s systems inform him that it’s as genuine as it gets as he looks at the soft features of the human. “Hello.” Rhys gives him a tiny wave, his face filled with pure fascination, “I thought your line was decommissioned.”

Claptrap shuffles on his wheel, feeling like an animal for show at a zoo; he’s not sure what a zoo exactly is, but he’s certain he doesn’t like the way he feels. “I wouldn’t call it ‘decommissioning’, actually,” he says, annoyance masked by his default cheer. “Jack straight up destroyed us all. I was just lucky enough to survive.” Rhys’s happy face contorts into absolute horror at the mention of the name, and Claptrap has no idea why the man’s heart beat has gone up or why the whites of his eyes are so visible compared to a moment ago. Rhys makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat, “Oh my god.” he manages to wrench out. Silence engulfs them as the two regard each other, and surprisingly enough, everyone around them falls silent as well. Athena knows both sides of the tale and she honestly can’t tell which party had it worse as she watches Rhys and Claptrap stand unmoving as if frozen in time.

“That must mean you’re very strong!” a cheery voice pipes up, completely ignoring the tension between the two; Rhys startles and turns to look behind him as Claptrap’s eye follows his gaze.

In all honesty, Claptrap isn’t sure what he’s looking at- surely it’s a sentient robot like him, but they look so different than the ones Claptrap is used to seeing that he’s simply stunned. For starters, the silver, spherical robot is shorter than him by a few inches (and they have some sort of a face plate! Showing actual emotions! He’s so jealous now.), the former Hyperion robot has never seen anyone smaller than him in build; he ends up impassively watching them wheel close (on one wheel, like him!) with Fiona trailing behind them. They move past Rhys, who dumbly scoots away to make way for them; with a smile and squinted eyes, the robot stops just a feet away from Claptrap to wave at him frantically. “Hi, I’m Gortys! What’s your name?” The yellow robot’s systems inform him that Gortys is an Atlas-brand robot with a sentient AI that prefers to be referred to as ‘she’.

“I, uh…” he trails, not able to take his eye off of her. Her optical plates switch to big bright eyes as she waits for him to continue patiently. “My name is CL4P-TP, but my friends call me Claptrap!” He waves back.

“Oh!” Gortys’s mouth plate switches to a tiny dot, “Can I call you Claptrap, then?” Rhys buries his face behind his hands and groans out a “Hohhhmygoshhh you two are so cute!” as Fiona lets out a tiny squeal at the sight. Claptrap feels less like an animal for show and more like a person as he wishes he could smile back, “You sure can!” Gortys smiles at him again and does a happy little dance, twirling around like an excited little kid.

“You can dance?” Claptrap gasps, to which the smaller robot nods fervently; it’s the yellow robot’s turn to squeal in delight. He wants to chat with her more, ask her what her favorite genre of music is, but Lilith chooses that exact moment to stride into the scene with Mordecai and Brick trailing behind her. Sensing danger, Rhys slowly rises and moves behind Fiona as if he could hide his lanky figure behind the shorter woman. Fiona scoffs but stands her ground despite the raw power rolling off of the Siren; Athena prowls closer to move in between the duo and Lilith like the protective mother hen she is, the two woman glare each other for a moment before Lilith’s eyes move to Rhys and Fiona.

“So you’re the ones Athena talked to us about.” the Siren says, putting her hands on her hips as her calculating gaze sweeps over the two, “Fiona and Rhys.” If she sounds like she hissed the Atlas CEO’s name, he’s not gonna make a comment on it.

“And I’m Gortys!” the smaller robot calls from around her kneecaps, she turns to look at the robots standing side by side and thinks she’s too tired to deal with two overly-cheery robots. With a barely-there nod and a roll of her golden eyes, she turns to the three humans, motioning them to follow her inside. Claptrap can see the game she’s playing, and he’d be annoyed if his attention wasn’t drawn to Gortys so much; so he simply follows the humans as he listens to his companion’s friendly chatter about a Vault monster she fought.

“And he was this big!” Gortys motions, opening her tiny arms wide with a smile, “And we beat him!”

“That’s amazing!” Claptrap says, his blue eye burning brighter than ever, “Did you know… I fought a Vault monster myself?” Gortys lets out an excited gasp, prompting him to continue, “Yeah! We beat him too, but the loot we got wasn’t that great!” Athena notes how both robots pointedly avoid mentioning the traumatic parts of their final boss fights as she starts to climb the stairs with Fiona in tow. Gortys easily trails behind them, wheeling up the steps and even going in the large room filled with screens and maps before noticing the now-familiar presence of Claptrap is gone from her side. “Oh no!” she bemoans, upset that she got so engulfed in telling her story that she lost her friend along the way, “Claptrap!”

Out the open door to the balcony, the winds carry Claptrap’s voice in the distance, “Down here!” Following the sound of his tinny voice, Gortys is dismayed to see the parapet to the balcony is too high for her to see anything, so she turns to Rhys and waves her arms, “Rhys! Can you help me up?” The tall man is more than happy to oblige, leaving a very annoyed Lilith and a very bored (in reality, very amused) Athena behind to help the tiny sphere of happiness and sunshine. Claptrap watches them from down on the street and the moment Rhys raises Gortys up in his arms, the larger robot perks up at the sight of her. The Atlas robot waves her arms at him, “Oh Claptrap, Claptrap!” she calls down, “Why are you down there, Claptrap?” Rhys and Fiona snigger behind her as Claptrap calls up, “I can’t climb stairs!”

She doesn’t laugh at him or question him, and the Hyperion robot can see heart emojis popping up at the corners of his line of vision as he looks up at her. “Oooohh nooooo!” Gortys opts for saying, stretching out the words of the very same sentence she uttered mere moments ago, her faceplate forms a “: (“ this time. “But I want you to be here!”

“I want to be there, too!” Claptrap replies ruefully and just as he’s about to suggest Gortys come down, she turns to Rhys, “Rhys! Fiona! Can you give me my other parts? I need them to help Claptrap up!” The amused grins on the two humans’ faces devolve into stiff and worried grimaces as they turn to look at each other.

“What the hell is going on?” Lilith calls from inside. “Don’t you dare,” Athena growls from her place next to the Siren.

“Gortys, sweetie…” Fiona starts. “You know how it goes when you transform,” Rhys continues, “Can’t you just go down there to him?”

“No!” the spherical robot objects, “He needs to come here, he has every right to do so!”

“Okay,” Fina turns to Rhys, “What if…”

“DON’T.” Athena commands.

“Didn’t you have a jammer?” Rhys asks his companion, “From back when we had that Vault key deal?” He grins down at her like the condescending bastard he is. Fiona scoffs, “Ugh. Why would you think I’d have it on me after all this time?”

“DON’T. EVEN. THINK ABOUT IT.” Athena slowly reaches for her shield, ready to throw it at her own pupil if she has to.

“You’re a lying Pandoran scum,” Rhys hums with a grin, “You always come prepared.” Fiona smiles wickedly at him despite her furrowed brows, “Oh, Rhys, you know me so well.” They share a smile before Rhys gently lowers Gortys to the floor to get her second piece from one of his jacket’s inner pockets; the moment he holds out the heavy silver ring close to the tiny robot, it flies off of his hand and lodges itself easily onto her tiny form. There’s a flash of light illuminating Rhys and Fiona as Lilith watches, mouth agape, and Gortys emerges from the ball of brightness with significantly longer legs. Standing just a little taller than Claptrap now, she leans over the parapet herself to wave at her companion, who gazes her with what Athena reads as pure fascination and interest. “Hi, Claptrap! I’ll be down there in a moment to get you up here!”

“O-kay.” Claptrap responds weakly as Gortys turns to look at Fiona expectantly. The fresh Vault Hunter takes out the Atlas robot’s last piece, the blue ball of otherworldly energy shining bright under the morning sun.

“Let’s work together here, alright?” Fiona tells Gortys, who nods vigorously. “Rhys will turn on the jammer the moment you transform so that we won’t open up a Vault right here.”

“A Vault?” Lilith trails off weakly. She looks so lost when she turns towards Athena to look for answers, who simply grinds her teeth, having resigned to just watching the two idiots work their way around their plan.

“Alright!” Gortys pipes up.

“Ready?” Rhys asks. “Ready!” the not-so-tiny robot declares happily as Fiona gives him a curt nod, handing the jammer to the Atlas CEO.

The next few moments happen as if in slow motion- at least to Lilith and Athena. Gortys moves a couple of steps back so that she can accelerate as she runs towards the parapet, with a shrill “Whee!” she flies off the edge of the balcony just as Fiona throws the piece out the opening towards the soaring robot.

Gortys’s transformation is a grand event to witness, and it has everyone stunned into an awe-filled silence. If the previous transformation was a tiny blast, this one is a supernova- Gortys emerges as a giant from within it, landing on the street next to Claptrap with a loud thump that rattles the flying city to the core.

Rhys activates the jammer the moment her beacon blinks for the first time; a buzz courses through Gortys’s magnificent form, making her wince in pain hard enough to snap Claptrap out of his reverie. He quickly wheels towards her and comes to a halt when they’re just a feet apart, he looks like a tiny metal box compared to her. “Are you alright?” he shouts worriedly before hugging her leg. Gortys gently kneels without disturbing the other robot latched onto her and gives him a gentle pat on the top of his form, “I am, now that we got back together!”

Upstairs, Fiona and Rhys grin at each other like a couple of children who played the biggest prank in their lives as Lilith comes to stand next to them with her mouth still agape. “ **She** is the Vault key?” she whispers. Athena joins her, leaning against the parapet, “She **is** the Vault key.” she confirms.

Rhys, ever the company man, turns to regard the Siren with a cunning glint in his mismatched eyes, “And that, Ms Lilith, is the reason I came up here to speak with you personally. Our mutual friend talked of you,” he glances at the gladiator’s stiff form before returning to the other woman, “And despite the fact that I understand you two aren’t on friendly terms, I’m interested in conducting a deal.”

Lilith’s surprised expression turns sour at that, “Says the man who housed Handsome Jack in his head.” She doesn’t miss the way he cringes, and she graces him with a dirty smile as Fiona puts a protective hand over Rhys’s padded shoulder, her other hand hovering over the pistol strapped to her leg. Thankfully the CEO is quick to recover, “If you’ll so ungratefully reject my offer, Ms Lilith, then it’s your loss.” He leans into the Siren’s personal space, making her as uncomfortable as he feels, “But don’t try to bring the skeletons in my closet, because I assure you, I have a whole team specifically handpicked for finding out yours.” He graces her with his Corporate Shark smile, knowing all too well that he reminds her of Jack, “Don’t push your luck if you want to keep your little city in your bloodied hands.” He leans back into Fiona, “Or the supplies and money **Sanctuary** needs.” He spits out the city’s name as if it’s a piece of Skag shit stuck under his shoe. Lilith’s eyes widen, but before she could retaliate a giant robotic face emerges from the opening and Gortys’s face plate eases into a thrilled smile at the sight of Rhys and Fiona. Claptrap waves at them from his seat in her palms before she lets him wheel onto the balcony. “Thanks, guys!” Gortys chimes in happily, Rhys turns to her with a genuine, cute little smile on his plump lips, “Anytime, sweetheart.”

Oblivious to the unspoken death threats hanging in the air between the humans, the giant robot continues as lets out a whine, “Can Claptrap come with us when we leave? Pretty please?” As if he hadn’t already thought of it since he’s seen the way the citizens look at the yellow robot, Rhys feigns surprise, “Oh! But…” He turns to the lonesome robot who doesn’t seem that abandoned anymore, “Do **you** want to come with us?” Claptrap perks up at the offer but stays silent.

“That actually sounds like a great idea!” Fiona encourages them, “Isn’t Loader Bot with Vaughn at the moment? I bet you’d get along just fine!” Athena hides a wordless grin behind her fist, watching Lilith’s face switch from angry to shocked, from reddened cheeks to paleness as she tries to keep up with the conversation and imagine what kind of people she’s about to form an alliance with.

“We’re about to sign a deal here,” Rhys speaks up, his gaze moving between Claptrap and Lilith. “You can always come back here if you like.”

For the first time in his existence, and unlike his name suggests, Claptrap is speechless. He slowly turns to look up at his giant companion as he finds his voice, “What do you think, my little ball of sunshine?” Rhys’s tough boss act breaks apart as Fiona hides her face behind his shoulder, because nicknames already? How cute is that?

Gortys almost vibrates with excitement as their eyes meet, “Come and join us, my chatter-bot!” And with that, Claptrap turns to look at Rhys with what Athena deciphers as hope etched into his body language. “Lead the way, minion!”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a giant sap and I enjoyed that Romeo & Juliet reference a little too much.


End file.
